Email to Noah's Ark Water Park

Dear Noah,

I have been wondering where to spend my summer holidays and then it hit me - Wisconsin Dells! So I looked it up and there it was, a link to your site. What a great site, Noah! I am definitely visiting your water park when i visit Wisconsin Dells. How could I not!? Being a good Christian I have no excuse NOT to visit you and your ark, Noah.

I do have some important questions though that I am hoping you can answer for me.

Do we have to go down your slides in pairs?
I will be traveling alone, so naturally I will not have a friend with me. Will I still be able to use your slides alone? And if we must go down in pairs should my other half be male, rather than female?

Also, I can only engage in water activities in which no one else has used the same water. Can you please confirm that when I use you water slides, the water will be fresh and not have been used by others. This is a medical condition. I can bring a note from my doctor if need be.

Please let me know as soon as you can so I can book my tickets to your water park. I can't wait!!!

Thank you in advance,

Peggy Folder.

p.s.
Ever though of using the slogan " Noah's Ark Water park - it's double the fun!"???

Letter to The Holy Land Theme Park

July 16th, 2009
The Holy Land Experience
4655 Vineland Rd,
Orlando, FL 32811




Dear Holy Land Experience Theme Park,

I have been perusing your site for the past 4.6 hours, and I must say I am excited to soon be adventuring to your biblical land.

I was, however, a little sadden to discover there were very few fun rides or activities (one can only spend so long meandering through the Dead Sea Qumram Caves).

May I be so forward as to suggest some fun happy ideas that I believe other Christians like myself would thoroughly enjoy? Naturally I asked myself 'What Would Jesus Do?' in this situation, and it became clear to me that Jesus would indeed send you these suggestions. Please see below.

Food For Thought:
* How about a treasure hunt? People must try to find baby Moses in the reeds (a real baby would be best). Winner gets to keep the baby Moses!
* An adventureland where people must make it past all the lepers in the Jerusalem markets without catching leprosy (again, if we could get real lepers, I think it would just add to the fun).
* People can get photos taken of themselves hammered to Jesus’s Cross.
* Perhaps an experience (much like Backdraft at Universal Studios) in which we are subjected to the Ten Plagues of Egypt—live locusts, frogs come at you and deaths of firstborns—you get my drift.
* Also, I think a great way of making some extra money might be to offer “foot washings”—you know, like shoeshines, but not.
* A ride for adults: Men (and women, if they so desire) can take a ‘ride‘ on Mary Magdelene (if you know what I mean, wink wink). Condoms would, of course, be included. Perhaps we should also note that it is best to be one of the first in line for this ride

Thank you for taking the time to mull over my ideas. I am sure you agree that together, you and I can make this “The Real Magic Kingdom.”

I await your response with baited and holy breath.

Yours sincerely,



Peggy Folder